i was watching an episode of PoT. The one where Oishi and Eiji think back about the day they met, and how they became doubles partners.

And somehow, while watching, i realised i was half-intentionally storing away info, so it could be put to use later on, when i get round to writing my fics and DNs

Then i stopped myself. Why was i doing that? Why wasn't i simply enjoying the show? So i can have materials for writing? What kind of excuse is that?

Analyzing, planning, gathering data. That's not what writing is all about. That's not how I write.
When the moment comes for me to pen down a story, then i will. It's as simple as that. To prepare the story, is an insult to it. It means i don't trust myself enough to just rely on my instincts when it comes to writing.

Writing, is all about human emotions and feelings. It's expression, a form of art. Every word you write down, every paragraph, is an extension of who you are. The world as you see it. You don't plan the best things in life to happen, they just do. That's why they're so special. My words simply flow out. That's what makes my writing so special to me. They're an extension of who i am.

And so, i love my writing. And i love my stories.

And with that in mind, i settled for watching the videos without any further interruptions on my part. Just enjoy it now, ne? I shouldn't worry too much. Worry about not remembering, or about forgetting. It'll all come naturally.

It's like tennis, no? One of the reasons why i love pot so much, is because, at the end of the day, whatever match you're playing. whoever your opponent is, tennis is a sport. A game. Win or lose, the important thing is to enjoy the game you're playing. When you enjoy it, when you have passion for it, then the win comes along easily enough.

Sometimes in life, grey clouds obstruct our view, and we forget the true reason we are even walking on our own separate paths. The key is to not let those clouds shroud your blue sky, else you'll forget it even exists. Have a clear head, no?

My writing, isn't for praise, though it's one of the best parts. And i'd be lying if i said i didn't care if it goes unnoticed, or isn't worth any attention or review. I do.

But i must remember, and constantly remind myself, it is first and foremost, for myself. Why do i write? Because i can, and i'm good at it. And you love the things you're good at. And because i love it, i'm passionate about it. Because i'm passionate, i get inspiration, i write stories people appericiate, and i gradually make people, including myself, happy.

That's the whole point, isn't it?

It is. It really is. So now, i can watch my videos without worrying about the future. The future comes when it comes. Till then, one step at a time.

oyasumi